It’s ok to be self centred…
if it means choosing your health and wellbeing.
The definition of self centred in the Cambridge dictionary is to be egoistic, inconsiderate and selfish. And the opposite is to be generous, charitable and altruistic.
If someone described you, what would they say?
How would you describe yourself?
Now how would you describe the way you treat yourself?
In Ayurveda, one of the root causes of imbalance is prajnyaparadha, or crimes against wisdom. It’s when we ignore our feelings and sensations.
At the physical level, this often involves the suppression of natural urges such as urination, passing gas, burping, coughing, hunger, thirst or even fatigue. At the emotional level, it includes suppressing tears, laughter, grief, joy - any emotions that come up in an organic way. Supression of these natural urges that need to be expressed means we are choosing something or someone else over our own comfort and happiness. In some cases, prajnyaparadha can also be overindulgence, such as in sex, food and drink, exercise, and emotions like anger, blame, judgement and attachment, more than we need. Either way, ignoring our natural urges and living from the outside in brings suffering and unhappiness.
The underpinning idea of prajnyaparadha is that our minds and bodies have a natural intuition and inclination towards sattva or balance, peace and harmony, when we live in a way that allows us to be at peace both within ourselves and with the world around us. We are part of nature, which we can forget when we spend more time with machines. Look outside and notice the season, and how the plants and animals live. Nature instinctively knows how to grow and adapt, by recognising the external signals from the environment and interpreting the internal signals they receive from their roots, stems, leaves and flowers. They need to listen and respond to thrive, just like us. This is where we can practice being centred in the self (different to self centred), to recognise and attend to our physical and emotional needs as they arise. Over time, we learn to live by our intuition and wisdom, and this radiates outwards into our lives and those around us.
Do you find yourself putting the needs or expectations of others above your own? Perhaps its drinking too much wine and having a terrible migraine but not wanting to disappoint your friends, eating salads and feeling constipated but wanting to lose weight to impress someone, or pushing past fatigue because your partner wants to watch tv until midnight. It is different to be self centred, which is often about our ego’s ideas about who we are by status, work, money or education, and stems from a need to control and not feeling worthy. Being centred in your self is simply to be present enough to recognise your needs, before fulfilling your relationships and responsibilities to others.
Could this be the root cause of disease? Try this experiment to hear your inner dialogue:
Notice which urges you tend to suppress (pick one physical and one emotional).
Ask yourself why you suppress those urges. Is there something you consider more important, or perhaps you think that the urge is inappropriate?
The next time you feel that urge, talk yourself through the WELL consideration below.
“Wellbeing is my priority.”
“What are the Effects of suppressing this urge on my mind and body?”
“Listen to my internal conversation and ask, Centered in the self or self centred?”
“Let myself respond as necessary, and notice the effect of my choice.”
Ayurveda clearly maps out the trajectory of each prajnyaparadha, and how it can lead to specific diseases. This is the wisdom of thousands of years of insights and observation; every action has an equal reaction. It teaches us to look to nature, including our own, for guidance and personalised self care. We can learn so much from the art of listening in Ayurveda.
