Actionable Aspirations: The Way of Following Your Bliss with Kama
Follow your bliss for the adventure of a lifetime.
The pursuit of pleasure is considered hedonistic and self indulgent, but we all have desires that occupy our thoughts and fuel our actions, whether we are aware of them or not. Pleasure feels good, which is a sign that it is doing good - reducing heart rate and blood pressure, improving immune health, boosting productivity, and supporting mental health and resilience. This is why stress causes disease; it is the opposite of pleasure, causing inflammation at every level. Although there is a widespread impression that being a martyr and denying pleasure is the key to spiritual liberation, as long as we are in this human body, we will continue to experience the emergence of desire. Rather than suppress this natural urge and expect life to be joyless and stressful, we can use pleasure as a tool to align with our natural, blissful Self.
In this third of the four purushatras, I invite you to contemplate the following questions:
What does pleasure feel like in your body, and does it flow into your soul?
Does desire conjure conflicting emotions such as guilt, shame or discomfort?
Can you build more pleasurable moments into everyday life, through work, passion, exercise, family and food?
Kama is the most famous of the purushatras, thanks to the Kama Sutra, an ancient text that discusses the nature of love and physical pleasure, to enhance intimate relationships and sexual fulfilment. Kama translates as pleasure, and in Vedic philosophy, it is acknowledged that desire, sexuality and emotional fulfilment are part of the complete process of life.
But pleasure comes in many different forms; it can be music, art, dance, sport, friendship, laughter, travel, food… we are fortunate to derive joy from many different avenues. It is also unique to each individual at various points of life, and often comes when we engage in an activity that supports our priorities, or allows us to express creativity and connection. Many successful people route pleasure as the secret behind their achievements, helping them overcome barriers in their personal and career paths. Some examples are J.K. Rowling who experienced great poverty before her Harry Potter series became a success, the actress Emily Blunt who stuttered as a young girl but persevered for her love of the stage, Oprah Winfrey who experienced abuse and discrimination before becoming a talk show icon, and my personal favourite, Thich Nhat Hanh, who brought mindfulness to the Western world and influenced millions to live more peacefully (not to mention receiving a Novel Peace Prize for his global activism efforts), but endured war, violence, death of numerous family and friends, and was banned from entering his beloved Vietnam for many years by the communist government. Each of them followed their bliss, by honing the skills they had because of their desire to do the work that brought joy, with joy. In this sense, having a strong, specific desire can be a force for good not just for ourselves, but the wider community.
This brings us to the idea that we need to recognise and follow our individual bliss. Each of us brings unique gifts and ideas to the world, and manifesting these is our path towards greater abundance and the natural pursuit of pleasure. It is a fallacy that we should grind through life, that pure hard work and sacrifice are the path to success, and that pleasure is unnecessary and indulgent. This myth has been perpetuated in society, often from childhood, and caused many mental, physical, emotional and spiritual fractures. The converse is deriving short-lived pleasure comes from excess consumerism such as binge watching television, constant shopping, overindulging in alcohol and food, late nights, intense sexual encounters, etc. But is this real pleasure or just overstimulation? Bliss feels calm, contented and energising, while overstimulation creates cravings, disconnection from the body, and is often followed by fatigue, regret, anxiety and depression.
Get to know your blissful state by taking pause a few times a day to breathe and relax, and allow yourself to be immersed in each activity you engage with. Notice your body language when you are happy and peaceful, and how it changes when you are distracted, tired or no longer enjoying your activity. Any action that is carried on for too long or taken to the extreme, can go from blissful to stressful. Can you prioritise your Kama by switching up the activity, or bringing mindfulness to the task at hand to make it more pleasurable? Perhaps put on some music, take some relaxing breaths, or stretch out your body before turning back to the work.
There is no guilt in prioritising your health and happiness, because the two are connected, and provide a pathway towards your personal development and evolution. Have faith that life is not meant to be a punishing journey. Instead, consider that the pursuit of bliss will bring abundance, growth and freedom, and this is the pleasurable path we truly desire. Don’t accept anything less.
“The privilege of a lifetime is being who you are.”
— Joseph Campbell, mythologist, writer and lecturer
